Posted: 07 Oct 2009 05:34 AM PDT
True transparency and being willing to share ones testimony requires a lot
of faith and trust in God. It leaves one open and exposed to ridicule and
possible emotional torment. Yet, for those that have the faith to do so the
blessing they bring on others cannot be measured. As they help someone else
see that they may not be alone, someone has walked were they are walking.
Today Priscilla Tagle or @priscillatagle shares a radical testimony of
coming home to her heavenly father and her faith. Take time and follow
Priscilla on twitter or read her blog.
"…Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and
kissed him."
– Luke 15:20 (NLT)
God Believes in You
The story goes like this, a wealthy father and a Son. The son asks the
father for his part of his inheritance, he leaves his house, lives the wild
life, and when he found himself with no money, with only misery and
loneliness he remembers that he had a father that was waiting for him, and
decides to go back to his house. It turns up he was right, his father was
there, waiting for him, forgiving him, making him part of the family again,
and giving him his full acceptance.
Now, I know I made a quick synopsis of the story, but that's because I want
you to notice, something we almost never focus on. You see, Jesus focused
on the son's part of the story, but he never told us what the father felt
the days the son wasn't there. What we only know is that the father had
"love and compassion" for his son. I've always pictured in my mind what the
father must have felt the following days after the son's departure. I see
him waking up each morning, longing to see the figure of his son walking
towards his house, or even running with his arms open saying "Father I'm
here". The father, probably even cancelled all his duties and appointments
just sit at the front of his house, waiting desperately, but as nights,
days passed, months or even perhaps years he still had no hint of son or
his whereabouts.
Although time passed, there was still something that kept the father waking
up each morning with the energy to sit and wait at the front of his house
for his son, and that was Hope. The father never stopped believing that one
day he would see his son, the one that was lost, but now found, the one
that was dead, but now lives, his prodigal son.
I once was a prodigal.
I was born in a Christian household; both of my parents are Ministers in
Church of God of Prophecy. I used to be like any other Christian girl, used
to go to Sunday school, I knew all the stories of the Bible, I knew that if
I behaved bad I would go to hell, and I was so scared of it, that one day I
made a promise to God that I would never ever, ever, ever sin.
As I grew into my teenage years, I began rebelling, and in order to be
accepted by my so called "friends" I began drinking and smoking. Then I
began dating, jumping from one relationship to another. I didn't feel
loved, or accepted, so I was trying to fill that void inside of me with
relationships. Then one day this guy came into my life, he was all I
wanted, he was all I looked for, so we began dating. Later on we formalized
our relationship, everything was going fine until the day he forced me to
have sex with him, I rejected him, and seeing that I did that, he raped me.
Since then, my love life became I total nightmare. I didn't feel loved, I
felt rejected, because every time I let myself had the opportunity to love,
I used to get hurt. As time passed I didn't know what to do with men...
they just kept hurting me, so I decided to reject them, to reject love, to
reject the male figures around me. I started to build a hate towards men, I
hated everything of them, I didn't like them, I couldn't stand them, I
wanted to be better than them, that's when I took the decision to become a
tomboy.
So, I became a tomboy. I didn't feel pretty, I always used to look at the
mirror and used to tell myself, God had to make a mistake, you were not
meant to be girl you had to be a boy. I started dating girls, and every day
that spirit of confusion got in my head the idea that I was the boy that
those girls needed. I started feeling like a boy, up to the point where I
decided to go see a Doctor, because I wanted to have a sex change.
Later on, after I graduated from High School, I decided to join the ARMY. I
got stationed in San Diego, California. Drugs and Alcohol started taking
over my life. I began not only consuming drugs, but selling them as well.
Then, that wasn't sufficient, it wasn't enough for me, it wasn't filling
the void inside of me, so I began to look for something else. I started
seeing pornography, it became an addiction that I couldn't control, my life
was a total mess, and although I was doing wrong, something inside was
crying out, I knew I needed God, I knew I needed his love, I knew He still
believed in me, so I decided to go back to the Father's house, and tell Him
"Father I'm here".
And I did, I went back, and when he saw me, he came and hugged me, and
erased all those things from my past. Today I can say proudly and surely, I
am a heterosexual and by the grace of God I no longer have a lesbian
identity. I wake up every morning and give thanks to God for making me a
woman, for feeling like a woman, for loving like a woman. It was only
through his love, that the void I felt inside was filled, no person, no
guy, girl, drugs, alcohol, or anything in this world could have ever fill
that void, only Him and His unconditional everlasting love. God has
accepted me, He has freed me from all sin, and He always knew I would come
back, because he always believed in me. God always believed in me, and he
also believes in you…
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